Believing In Yourself

{part one of two} I’ve said it before, Reflect Joy Ministries is a place where this often times messy life meets scripture to {eventually, with persistence and prayer} make a joyful life. Well, this week was certainly one of those messy ones for me, particularly in my head.

You see, this past week I began leading a corporate Lenten Bible Study. I’ve done them before and getting nervous is a natural part of my process. It keeps me humble and assures me I’m not taking these opportunities for granted. It also reinforces for me how passionate I am about this responsibility. Every opportunity to share the message of Christ arrives with excitement and nerves, desperate to successfully execute.

I prepared as I always do and sufficiently gathered music, scripture, illustrations, questions and takeaways. But somehow, this time, I began picking apart the details…. in an unhealthy way. I questioned my knowledge, my delivery and skills to facilitate. I panicked about opening with a song. I also allowed myself to rehearse what could go wrong over and over again in my head. And before long, I’d lost sleep and had convinced myself I had no business in this role.  This is just another piece of evidence that the devil is everywhere. Discouragement and self-doubt are his greatest tools, and he successfully used them on me. I gave the devil a seat at the table. I participated in his reckless attack. And at some points I even think I led it.

Have you found times where you join the devil in tearing you down? Destroying the song God wrote for your life, ripping apart the harmonies and crushing dreams along the way? I’m with you.

Certainly we are taught early on this world is going to be tough on you. Temptation will be constant and messing up the song God wrote for you will always be a risk. But you don’t have to help. I share this because I did it. I messed up God’s song, His beautifully written harmonies for my life. And I joined the devil with self-doubt and discouragement. As I’m digging myself out, I’m learning a few things… I’m making notes (I promise) but I haven’t been able to shape those experiences into words yet. So stop back next week and together we’ll wrap this blog up with part two. Until then…

Relevant Scripture: “For the Lord will be your confidence…” Proverbs 3:26

Lord, see us through the times when we doubt ourselves. Remind us to seek you for confidence and strength to fulfill who we are called to be. Help us to not give self-doubt a seat at our table and instead, to see ourselves the way you see us. Amen.

Author: Carrie Kiekhaefer

I'm Carrie Kiekhaefer and I'm passionate about finding and reflecting JOY in this life. Unfortunately, I know a lot can get in the way of that JOY. Life is messy and complicated. I'm here as a messy child of God, a natural encourager, a blogger, a coach and a designer to help you navigate through the mess. With relevant scripture, a relationship with Jesus and some honest blogs we can find, let's discover and reflect His Joy - together.

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